EMPATHY-A LOST MEANING

A daily glance through the newspapers would actually be more than enough to effectively learn how to empathize. Now I am not trying to be critical of any political party in particular, because quite frankly empathizing has not been any one political party’s forte..every party is quite good at it. This, is in no way am I suggesting that empathizing is not good. But if you look around, I just feel that there is an overdose of empathy with no solutions to back it up. The Thekkady boat tragedy where almost 40 lost their lives is a fine example. Everybody expressed grief on hearing about the incident and the Kerala CM announced a compensation of 5 lakhs each for victim’s family. Kodiyeri Balakrishnan (Kerala tourism minister) came out with preventive measures for such boat accidents in the future stating that all boats at tourist destinations in Kerala would undergo a safety check to ensure the vessels are in good condition. It was also decided that henceforth all those under the age of 15 must wear a life jacket and those above 15 who do not wear one have to give an undertaking as to why they are not doing so. A rescue boat with all medical facilities at each boating destination and for every 25 passengers on a boat, one life guard would be employed. A friend of mine just returned after a vacation in kumarakom where he went for a boat ride. In spite of the writing in the boat ticket which says that wearing a life jacket is mandatory, there were no life jackets available. Lets take Thekkady, It’s been more than 4 weeks since the Periyar Wildlife Sanctuary shut down following the boat capsize and tour operators, hotel owners and locals are now urging that the popular tourist spot be reopened soon as their livelihoods are at stake. There are over 40 resorts and more than 10,000 people make a living out of tourism activities and everything coming to a standstill is not a solution. Everybody empathized with this situation as well. Now, that’s a surprise.

The 2002 Godhra communal riots can pull up so many cases where most of the empathizers might have forgotten why they empathized in the first case. There was a talk show in one of the news channels regarding the survivors of the 1984 Sikh riots after the assassination of the then prime Minster, Indira Gandhi. The khalistan movement is still brewing in India and all it needs is one small spark to flame it up. It has been close to 25 years that successive governments have been successfully empathizing with the victims of the 84 riots, but there has been no hope of justice even today. It’s not good enough to say that “your heart goes out to the victims”. As the saying goes, Justice delayed is justice denied, Empathy cannot replace justice nor can it replace solutions. People who have lost their families do not need empathy, they need justice, and they need solutions. One of the participants in the talk show stated that we should reverse the norm that “Every party is innocent until proven guilty” and change that to “Every party is guilty until proven innocent”. Though, that’s stretching it a bit too far, but its far better than saying “We understand how difficult this must be and our hearts go out to them”

Empathy is the quality that lets you “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes” and with empathy comes understanding and with understanding comes solutions. I don’t think empathy is a virtue, it’s just ability. It can be used for the good and for the bad as well and there’s no point in showing empathy without any intent. Some times it’s better to interrupt the speaker, than pretend to listen to him.

DISCOVER INDIA

Television advertising started about 60 years ago and advertisers and advertising agencies soon grasped the magnitude of this powerful medium. Companies realized that branding could be taken to the next level as, cleverly thought out creative commercials could easily connect with the average consumer. Moreover, commercials have the advantage of associating a product or service with emotions such as trust, reliability, prestige, ease of use,,desire, envy ,pride so on and so forth.

Vodafone and Bajaj have always been my favorites when it comes to commercials. The zoo zoo ads(Vodafone) have been a phenomenal success and infact they are the most watched ad’s in youtube and even have a fan following in face book. I saw another commercial couple of days back for the Bajaj Discover bike and I thought that was a pure delight. They have started their advertising campaign under the theme of “Discover India with the power of 1 litre” and currently have three TV commercials under this campaign which are being aired now. The Ad’s talk about the bike’s mileage(100kms/litre) which enables the consumer to explore little known places in India. I have seen a couple of their ad’s and instantly connected to it. Like for example one of their ad's have a guy riding the bike, discover a place called Mathur about 100 kms from Mysore, where the local language is Sanskrit. Another one had the guy in the bike discover a place in India about 100 kms from Ladakh where you don’t need fuel to run the bike because of the presence of a Magnetic hill. These are fascinating pieces of information that I was completely unaware off before I saw this commercial. I am assuming that I am not the only one around with a poor GK and that this would be new information to many. A lot of credit has to be given to the creator of the ad for the concept purely because of the ad’s ability to connect with the brand in a unique manner.

Creative advertising not only aims at selling a particular product or service but also connecting the vision of the company with its consumers. It should be able to penetrate the public mind with information and desire.

SPORTS AND CURRICULUM

As an ardent admirer of outdoor sports, I am really happy to know that sports in Kerala will atlast be getting its due importance. Considering that Kerala has been churning out world class athletes consistently over the years keeping in mind the lack of class facilities, infrastructure and support is a huge achievement in itself. The ray of hope comes in the form of a new decision taken by Education Minister M A Baby and Sports and youth affairs minister M Vijayakumar. On November 1st 2009, Kerala will become the first state in the country to include sports and physical education as part of the school curriculum.

Lets give credit where its due. I think this is a fantastic move to encourage sports at a very young age because sports in general not only helps build character in a person but also help the child deal with failures as sports, always is a great leveler. You have good and bad days at sports. The major challenge here will be the availability of facilities and infrastructure. Well, its one thing to arrive at a decision and completely different responsibility to back up the decision with resources.

I hope the govt sticks to its decision this time and we start seeing it getting implemented unlike lots of other unkept promises. If nothing else, the move will ensure that we have happier and healthier children .

WHAT'S YOUR RASHEE?

Tea and cigarettes have always been a great combination for lengthy conversations for me. Biji and I had a similar talk a few days back which started at about 11:00 Pm and continued till 03:00am. In between all that, also got myself booked by the police for smoking at a public place at 02:00am. We were talking on astrology, not that we are astrologers but, on the believing Vs non –believing part. Is Astrology true ? Can somebody predict our future based on the position of the planets at the time of our birth ? So what happens if tomorrow some scientist finds out a new planet ? Does that mean what ever predictions that has been made were all wrong? Its always like a chicken and egg debate. There can never be a conclusion on whether astrology is true or not. Lot of people cite personal examples of predictions coming true and some argue that it’s a numbers game where in some predictions turn out to be true while some don’t. I am no astrologer but I am fascinated at the concept astrology is based on . Well, to think that your personality and your life may be dependent on the planets which are light years away from us may not seem logical to many but is definitely intriguing. To be honest I want to believe that there is some truth in astrology in terms of predictions because how can you explain the some of the predictions which have come very true ( ok , there are lots which have not as well). But then again, If there is some truth in astrology , shouldn’t we also believe that our destinies cannot be changed and is not in our hands ? Some say there are remedies which astrologers advise which can change / avoid what may be indicated in our destiny. Stretching it a bit too far ? maybe . If you really want to think about it, Its filled with contradictions piling one after the other whether you are a believer or a non believer. But despite the fact that there are no rational explanations there are many who accept astrology and its remedies because it seems to work for them .

It is left to us to decide as to how far are we willing to let our circle of acceptance stretch, regardless of the perceived or actual truth in astrology. As for me, as someone who does not know astrology, it is difficult to accept that our lives are governed by the planets at the time of our birth( If only mom would have looked at the planetary position before giving birth to me !) There are a lot of things in the world which are unknown and not explained. Probably it is meant to be like that, but validating those with planetary positions just does not look right.

P.S:- I dont believe in Astrology. I am a Cancerian. Cancerians are always skeptical!

THE CHECKLIST

“One of the arts of getting things done is to know what things can remain undone" This was what one of my ex-very senior manager who I admired (still do) a lot used to say. I really liked that, and I usually pass that valuable piece of wisdom to anybody with whom I happen to share a conversation. Yeah..thats like my killer punch line …You say that..and it makes you look really cool..yes, it depends on the timing as well..but then you get used to it with some practice.. (Put a pinch of sarcasm in it, and YALLA..”WE HAVE A WINNER!). Ok so last month, I actually decided to implement what I say because as they say (I do not know who “they” are, but they keep saying) “Always practice what you preach”. So I decided to have a checklist of “to do” things.

Here goes :- though they are not in any order of priority, but these needed to be done.

1.Start going to the gym :- hmmmmmmmm….I have always post poned that. I have put on some extra weight over the last few months . Yucksssss..yeah, as bad as it sounds, the truth is out ..I have put on WEIGHT. Now before you start to visualize my physical structure, let me try to halt any such attempts. I am NOT fat! And at the risk of sounding humble, let me also say that I am ..err..very sexy as well. So, that’s about that.

2. Exercising:- Ok not so different from point 1. But you know, that’s the loop hole, If I don’t start going to the gym, at least do some exercises at home (heh heh..smart..yeah I know). Infact once I started jogging. But sadly by the time I realized that I am not 25 anymore and was not in supreme physical condition for jogging, I had covered a lot of distance and it was way too far to walk back. That’s when I realized autorickshaws are a blessing to mankind.

3.Calling up friends :- Few of them are pissed off with me because I am not keeping in touch . So a call was absolutely important to ensure my social existence.

4.I had brought a book on 6 sigma a looong time back. But even though its been a while, the book stills looks new and even has got that new book smell to it. As logic would say, Buying the book isin’t good enough, you have to read that as well. Making a start was another one on the list.

5. Buying a pair of speakers for my comp. Quite self explanatory I presume. Ok, if you do want an explanation on that, here you go :- I wanted to buy a pair of speakers for my computer.

6. Going to the Courier company to collect my credit card. Long story short, I lost my credit card- called up the bank- bank issued another credit card- courier company never finds me home- They got tired and gave it back to the bank- I called up the bank again- bank got tired, send the credit card again- The same courier company got the card- Courier company never found me home, well, again- Got tired -gave it back to the bank- I call up bank, the bank then tells me the courier company got the wrong address!- wow! now , they have send it to the courier company and asked me to collect it from their office. So, the point that I was trying to make was that, this was on my checklist as well.

7. Ofcourse, How can I forget..I have an office to go to as well in between all this. All this to be done before 02:00pm as that’s the time I have to leave for office.

Me decided that I will start the checklist with point 3 by calling up a few friends. The first one I called, ate up more than an hour. So I decided, to avoid the next and move on to point 6 and get my credit card. Well, as fate may have it, if it was the courier company who couldn’t find me all this while, it was me this time who couldn’t locate the courier company. Found it atlast only to find out that I forgot to carry any Id proof with me to get the credit card from them. Ok, lets buy the goddamn speakers atleast! The sales person at the shop perhaps was way short of his monthly sales targets because he seemed desperate enough to sell me the entire shop, leave alone the speakers. Got the speakers ! ticked the checklist..Now off we go to the gym ..lets atleast say Hi there and let them know that I will start from tomorrow (Yeah..let the poor souls have something to look forward to in life) . Btw, the gym looks cool and all..But I was forgetting something. Yes ..the time ..Looked at my watch , it showed 03:30 pm . Oh yes..I needed to go to office today ..can’t now ..hmm..work from home. Classic case of checklist going wrong OR Classic case of the wrong checklist!

A DOG'S LIFE

I have always loved dogs. As they say, there is no one who appreciates a conversation the way a dog does: because what ever you tell him, it always licks you. I have a dog and absolutely adore it. My sister adores him even more and the adoration has even reached to an extent where she at times, mistakes me for the dog and calls me chippy.

I guess, we had similar minded neighbors who loved dogs and yes, cats as well. So we had a situation where in a stray dog gave birth to 5 puppies and a cat gave birth to 4 kittens at my neighbours place. They were kind enough to feed all of them regularly. Now they moved out and all the 5 puppies and 4 kittens moved out as well. Only that, they moved to our place.

It all happened very quickly ; I mean just come to our house any of these days and you will see a mini zoo! You have dogs and the puppies having a gala time and so are the kittens .All of then enjoying themselves. We tried different methods in getting all of them out because frankly it was getting quite tiresome . Needless to say, all efforts were in vain: 5 puppies and 4 kittens are still there. So I was sharing my sorrow with a friend of mine and asking her any new techniques to get all of them out of the house. She gave me a completely different response. She was telling me “Che! Rohit , paapam kittum, you should never hunt those animals away . They might be your ancestors who are reborn .So you should take good care of them” Even though she said that with a lot of purity at heart, I couldn’t help thinking that “my great grandfathers are now dogs and cats ?”

Last month, One of the dogs got hit by a bike on the road and was severely wounded. Though I felt sad at the sight, my emotions were restricted to that; sad. It couldn’t even move as it was unable to even lift its back leg and so was crawling its way in pain from the road to our house. Just by looking at it, it was quite obvious that the dog wouldn’t last long and that it was just a matter of time. If ever there was an instrument that could measure compassion levels in humans, I have a strong feeling that my sister would top the charts. Her dedication and sincerity in taking care of that stray dog had to be seen to be believed. There was so much concern when the dog was not showing signs of improvement and so much relief when it finally showed some good signs. The dog is now able to move better and is healthier..bless my sis !

PS:-In between, Because of compulsion from my sis I approached various institutions like SPCA in Trivandrum and nobody bothered to help(Guess Menaka Gandhi is busy trying to protect her son). Intrestingly, I also met a lady in Trivandrum(Saramma) who runs a similar trust for stray animals(if I can use that term) called “Action for distressed animals” in Thirumala, Trivandrum. When I went there, I figured that the lady needs more help in taking care of the animals.

Smoking

Before I type anything else, Let me state that through this post I am in no way encouraging anybody to smoke nor indulge in any kind of drug addiction. These are extremely harmful and dangerous to the human body. Ok ..let the crap begin..

I had always wanted to quit smoking (Ok not always , but at least now I do) but for various reasons couldn’t really get myself to do it. “Da you are killing youself", “dude, your days are numbered”,”you are smoking cancer in to your lungs” are some of the kind words that I usually get to hear from my colleagues and friends. In the middle of a very interesting conversation today, a friend of mine just asked me “why do you smoke da?”. That was quite unexpected to say the least. Why do people ask such questions which requires me to think a lot to make up an answer? Quite frankly I did not know the answer and told him “give me some time , let me think “. While in doing so, I lit up a ciggy and immediately it dawned on me that I smoke to think !!! Eureka ! that’s it. Well, to be honest, smoke breaks give a much needed time out to reflect, to reflect on the days happenings, to reflect on absolutely anything. Well, any sane person can argue that you can reflect on a days happenings without a cigarette, but for me it seems, to do that, I need an external force.

Pscycologists say smoking and alleged reflection is just an escape from reality that our reasoning uses, as well as drinking and is a sign of degradation.

I don’t like Pscyologists any more !

WHAT'S IN A NAME

What’s in a name you ask ? Well, If you get the name right, you get a gold ring worth 15grams! I was going through one of the news websites last day, when I came across an article there. In an attempt to promote Tamil language and culture, Tamil nadu government has started a scheme under which babies born in the city corporation hospitals would be given a gold ring if they are given authentic tamil names.This is also like an add-on to commemorate the birthday celebrations of M. Karunanidhi. I also believe that they have also set up a committee of Tamil professors to verify the authenticity of names before giving away the gold rings.

Fine gesture indeed as far as the gold rings are concerned since they are being given to parents using the corporation hospitals. Money going to people who actually need it and at the right time.Now Authentic Tamil names,I can think of a few when it comes to Hindu names but are there any authentic Christian names(Tamil, that is ).?

Well, I am all for being proud about our country, our state, our language and our culture.Having said that, there is also a very thin line that demarcates promoting a language/culture and maybe, overdoing it resulting in accusations of language chauvinism. I guess, more than promoting a language or a culture, more relevance should be given to being open and tolerant to all languages and cultures. This, is in no way, am I Suggesting that anybody who promotes their language/culture are not open/tolerant to other cultures. But somewhere down the line we get closed out, we fail to interact enough with people from different cultures, we feel more inclined to mingle with people who speak our language and hail from the same cultural background.Although there is absolutely nothing wrong in interacting with people from similar domains (as there is a comfort factor involved) however the problem is, when we restrict ourselves to only that.This can be ideally be felt with Indians or for that matter Asians abroad. Many mingle only with their own communities and there is this reluctance to open up, reluctance to take the initiative and talk to the locals, reluctance to move out of their comfort zones.

IT IS A SMALL WORLD

A friend of mine called me last month over the phone and told me that he wanted a new job starting tomorrow. I said “ok, just go to sleep and everything will be allrigt by tomorrow and no, you really don’t have to see a doctor now .Its just the starting stages, maybe sleep would do”.Needless to say , he dint find that amusing at all. A few minutes in to the conversation, I realized that he was indeed troubled and his tone was getting increasingly desperate.

So I called upon the wiser, mature philosopher in me to respond to such a situation.Well after a lot of calling I realized that the wiser, mature,philosopher in me never actually existed..it was a mythical creature!(But the ever optimist in me would like to believe that he was down with fever). Ok...so we discussed about how recession and getting a new job does not exactly go hand in hand and that he should stick on to his present company (Which again, is an MNC ) and not give up so easily.He responds by asking me very politely to keep my advise to myself and instead channel all that energy in helping him find a solution to his problem. “k..dude..that is my solution..dont quit your job..unemployment is not a good state of mind” I seriously endorse that point of view on Unemployment ..and infact the problem with being unemployed is that everyday you wake up in the morning, you are on the job!

Well, 60 minutes in this conversation, I decided to do some root cause analysis..I asked him “Why do you want to leave your job”(Brilliant question isin’t it? Why on earth dint I ask this question an hour back ?)I got a very abrubt answer to that question to which he said something like”work pressure”.The famous thumb rule in a corporate environment states that when ever a man wants to quit his job desparately, its either a bad reporting manager or a broken love affair.On probing further I realized that, with him, it was a case of both ..his Ex is now his boss! Ouch !..Man that should be a bit tough.All my attempts at reasoning with him with statements like “need not mix professional life with personal life, If you run away now, you will have time only to do that” were treated with utter disdain and hatred. Even the common job sites agreed with me ,they were pulling out comparatively lesser jobs when we searched(This, after we were squeezing the life out the sites to spit out any jobs they had!)Its amazing what desperation can do, as, we even applied for a fashion designers job!(Well, absolutely nothing against fashion designers, its just that my friend’s job profile dosen’t have anything remotely connected with fashion).By this time, both of us had reached a consensus that quitting the job is the way to go and because of the sheer sincerity of our thought processes we were atlast able to find a job opening in a very reputable firm and managed to schedule an interview for my friend.Again, with his skillsets and experience he got through and today was his first day at the new office.Today evening I receive a call from him with the same desperation that he called last month and guess what , even his Ex changed jobs and she is now his new reporting manager in his new company ! Phew! It is a small world after all….

PS:-Well, Nothing connected with above post. Cigarette packs are supposed to look more dangerous from now on (with the mandatory regulations coming in)Me decided not to buy the packets, cigarettes alone would do.