Monday, November 9, 2009

CRICKET AND CELLPHONES

Date:-November 5th 2009
Place:- Sweet Home
Event:- India Vs Australa, 5th ODI at Hyderabad

I guess there comes a time in every person’s life when he/she is faced with one of the most demanding prospects of multitasking while watching the great Sachin Tendulkar bat. Unfortunately, that moment of truth had come for me. Among the many values and principles which I strongly follow, the one which I follow religiously is “ Multitasking while watching Sachin bat is a sin . Not missing even a single ball while Sachin is at the crease is a virtue which eventually would lead to moksha/spiritual freedom". But thanks to technology and cell phones, we are now mixing sin with virtue.

Scene 1:- India chasing a mammoth total of 350 set by Australia, are fighting back through Sachin Tendulkar. The great man is making it look so ridiculously easy that the game is now, Australia Vs Sachin Tendulkar. Let me use no more superlatives to describe Sachin’s innings because I am incapable to do justice with words and would be belittling the man’s batsmanship. You had to see it to believe it and if you dint, big loss man..BIG BIG LOSS!.

Scene 2:- I am nervously fiddling with my cellphone while watching Sachin bat. I usually keep my mobile at a safe distance but I guess, destiny had its way today. So to my horror, I accidentally pick up a call from a friend at half ring ! No way out..I say “Hello” to which she replies “ Hey..I dint know you were so desperately waiting to hear my voice..U dint allow the phone to ring even once!

Me:- err..hmm…err…look, can I give you a call back ..I am watching cricket (Yeah..on hindsight, “I am watching porn”, would have been a far more effective excuse)

Friend:- No, you cannot..its important and don’t cut the call ..I wont call you again…its very important( Though that was an open invitation/encouragement to cut the call, I exercised restraint and decided that I would get out of this call soon..)

Friend:- What do you think I should do? Should I go tell the boss that I want to be in a different team ?

Me :- (Sachin just danced down the wicket to hit Nathan Hauritz for a huge six !) OK..tell the boss ..(Controlling my excitement by furiously taking long breaths )

Friend:- But won’t he ask me why?

Me:- Ok..

Friend:- Ok? ..Ok?..What Ok?

Me:- err..hmm..be in a different team ..be happy and u know…let there be peace and tranquility in Asia

Friend: Che!..I am asking what would my present team think ? wont they feel I am showing attitude..? Also, Since I was in a different process before, wouldn’t adapting myself to the new process be far more difficult? What do you think? Do you think my boss would understand what I’m trying to tell him?

Me; hmm..hmmm..yeah he would..I mean ..they would ..everybody loves peace and tranquility you know ..

My head was spinning..Sachin just danced down again to hit Nathan Hauritz for another six! The telephone conversation painfully reminded me of my 10th std viva voice exam

Questioner : Why is the emf of auxillary battery greater than the emf to be measured?

Me:- err..hmm..errr..(faking the “Oh I knew it..just not remembering it now look on my face)..hmm..batteryyy..

Questioner : Why is the emf of auxillary battery greater than the emf to be measured?

Me: Zeeman effect? Electrostatic law?

Questioner:- No..and he proceeded to write down something on his paper with a look of disbelief on his face

Me:- ( Trying desperately)..Newtons apple? Theory of relativity?..

Coming back to my friend..She did not seem quite impressed with my answers either..
Friend:- ( Getting progressively irritated) ..Rohit, you are not listening..what do you think they would say?

Ok.just then , MS Dhoni, is brilliantly caught out at point, by Adam Voges and is walking balk to the pavilion. That was it! I couldn’t control my agony and despair..

Me:- Ok..ok( breathing furiously) look..go tell your team mates in your present team that they Suck Big Time! And then, immediately run down to your boss and tell him that he sucks as well..and that you don’t want to work in a team full of suckers and that you want to be in a different team. This would be the best method to communicate as you would be leaving no scope for confusion and misunderstanding.

There was silence from the other end of the phone and then heard the click sound of the call getting disconnected.

P.S:- Please don’t blame me for this episode, Blame MS Dhoni for getting out at the wrong time!

P.P.S:- Don’t fiddle with your cellphone while watching the match, fiddle with somebody else’s

P.P.P.S:-There is a good possibility of close to 80% hanging up if you say that you are watching porn, but there is always another 20% who might ask “Which one?”

P.P.P.P.S:- Nothing related to the post. Way back, when Sidhu was commentating, it so happened that Sachin hit a six and he said “All that comes from a cow is not milk”. For the life of me I couldn’t understand what it meant and how was it related w.r.t context. If there are any enlightened souls who know the answer, please feel free to let me know.

15 comments:

Sreejith Kumar said...

Hahaaha! Loser, you are a real loser! You could have used Mukesh's famous diialogue in Ramjirao Speaking "Hello... kelkkunnilla... kelkkunnillaa.." and hung up.

Sreejith Kumar said...

By the way, I did some research on this Sidhuism, but couldn't find a good explanation. Several sites have listed this.

007 said...

Hahahaaaaaaaa!!!! OMG..I hadn't finish laughing after reading your last post on Resumes and interviews..but this is attrociously funny..Man ..excellent writeup..Btw..did you call your friend after that? Eager to know. Keep posting

Rohit said...

@Sreejith

Thanks for the kind words Sreejith ..lolz. I did try using some other famous dialoges like "pooyi kidannu orangu penne" and a few others like that. But yes on hindsight, "kelkunilla ,kelkunilla "seems to be better. And hey, thanks for the effort for searching for that Sidhuism..I did try googling ..but as you mentioned, no convincing explanations.

@007

Glad that you liked the post and thanks for your comments :) No haven't tried calling my friend...I have just asked the quote for helmets, pads, gloves and other security devices which I feel, I should be equipped with before I embark on such a dangerous venture ;)

Abhilash said...

ha ha ha...

that was a nice one.
As Sreejith said you might have tried that dialogue or better would have said I a in a place where there in no range and would have turned the cell off.

Vinod said...

I loved reading this post!! really loved it. This was so funny that I was laughing all the while reading it. You seem to have a way with sarcasm andf humour..keep at it. Great read.

Rohit said...

@Abhi

Glad that u liked the post..lol..yeah "kelkunilla " would have been better..

@Vinod

Thanks a lot and glad u liked the post:)

Insignia said...

Hahahaha...

Women...always want to feel special :-P so dont blame her when she said that you wanted to hear her voice :-P

It was hilarious!! Hope you enjoyed the game ultimately.

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

hehehehe...i can now understand the plight of all my male friends when they watch cricket...now i understand why my friend never talks to me more than 1 word while watching cricket

Rohit said...

@insignia

Thanks for your comments:)Hmmm..I don't blame her,the only person I blame here is MS Dhoni!..

Oh yeah ..enjoyed the game..though we lost ...but Sachin's Batting was pure magic:)

@Gayatri

Thanks for stopping by..hope to see you arounf often:)yep..I can feel ur friend's pain ..lolz..there's a lesson for me to learn from ur friends..just speak one word and dont try to speak more than that :)

Swapna Raghu Sanand said...

I was laughing from start to finish! It was just so funny! lol!

Rohit said...

@Swapna

Thanks for your comments and Glad that you liked it :)

Ketan said...

Too bad, India lost that match. :(

Ultra-LOL@ 'peace and tranquility in Asia'!

@ 'only 20 % would ask which one': So, you mean 4 out of 5 people who call you up are females? ;)

What Sidhu might have meant could be he didn't expect Sachin to hit a six, or not in the fashion he would've hit it, or not at THAT point in time. Or of course, since it was Sidhu, he could have only been talking of his pet cow! The one which gave him the wrong fluid, 'cuz he might have tried to extract it from the 'wrong' udder! With so many 'might' you must understand, all this is only speculation. ;)

Blogrolled you!

TC.

Rohit said...

@Ketan
Thanks :) Glad that you liked the post..yeah man ..to bad India lost the match :(

"So, you mean 4 out of 5 people who call you up are females? ;)" :- Ahaa..the brainy one ! I should never have disclosed numbers there..I knew it would come back to haunt me ..Look at what you have done .. now Everybody knows! all those sexually stimulating conversations which I had with teh 20% ones..sigh..hope only the 80% reads this ..hehee:)

"Or of course, since it was Sidhu, he could have only been talking of his pet cow! " LOL..that was a good one

PassionMust said...

Ur gifted in humour writing my friend..i really enjoy reading ur posts :) Keep going..